2026-06-06
Content warning: this article deals with heavy subject matter.
09:43
Yesterday I left the house, a rare event for me. The break from my routine fucked me right up. I ended up eating lunch about three hours late, then dinner about four hours late. It was more of a snack, at that. I had a little alcohol, and only one coffee. I usually have about for coffees a day, and almost always no alcohol at all.
So it's perhaps not surprising that I woke up this morning with a headache. I had lots of water, suspecting dehydration, and some ibuprofen. Nina waited on me, I was so ill. I forced myself to drink two glasses of water and eat a banana, to keep the pills down. I assumed it was just dehydration, as close as I get to a hangover. Then I remembered the lack of coffee, and began to suspect caffeine withdrawal. This happened to me once before, after spending all day accidentally drinking decaff, and then throwing up before figuring out why I was suddenly ill.
She was kind enough to fetch me her caffeine pills, and after a few minutes, presumably from one pair of pills or the other, the pain started to subside, replaced with feeling sick, like I genuinely might throw up.
I made my way to the bathroom, and indeed threw up — out of my mouth and nose, no less. It burned my nostrils and tasted terrible, albeit banana flavoured. And then... I felt pretty much fine. Almost back to normal. Not quite OK, but essentially there. Certainly able to look after myself again. Just like that.
Nina suspects it might have been a migraine. I'll take things slowly for now, even though I feel much better. I have no real theories on the matter.
10:19
According to Wikipedia, skipped meals can indeed cause a migraine. Humans are far more delicate than I realised! I've made myself half of my usual breakfast, just a single slice of jam on toast, and my usual frothy coffee. Let's get back into my safe routine!
I guess I have to wonder, not why autistic people have routines, but why allistic people don't, if health is this precarious..?
11:55
I'm feeling much better now. I had another stab at the running away music for The Ice Lolly King. This time, I tried not to overthink it, and simply reread and took on board the main points from the director's notes (optimistic, building up, no drums), watched the footage, and made the sort of music I usually do within those parameters, just what seemed appropriate. And she loves it! I think that's the last or next-to-last track essentially composed! From here on, it's a case of refinement, recording, and mixing. Finally, I can stop feeling stressed about this project, confident that I can pretty easily finish it. Whew!
What a weird day.
Journal: 2026-06-06
Mirgraines: 2026-06-06 | Dissociation | Scintillating scotoma
